


we are who we are.

by maytheforcebewithlizzie



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Armitage Hux Has Issues, Enemies to Lovers, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-03
Updated: 2018-08-06
Packaged: 2019-06-21 09:25:48
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 4,282
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15554655
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maytheforcebewithlizzie/pseuds/maytheforcebewithlizzie
Summary: Hux was a revolutionary, full of fire and fervor, but revolutionaries' seasons were fleeting.





	1. turn the light on.

General Armitage Hux was standing on the Bridge with his hands clasped behind his back. Despite the neutral expression on his face, his crew could see that his whole posture wore a certain stiffness they weren't used to. His was observing the planet hovering in the space and though they finally jumped out from the hyperspace, his stomach was turning upside-down.

   “General?”

Hux turned his head to the side a little, giving the Lieutenant a sign that he could submit him the last of information they were able to gather. He briefly recognized the dark-haired man as Mitaka but didn't pay it any more attention than necessary. He could see his face in the reflection on the viewport. There were stars in his eyes he's never noticed before and despite trying not to be sentimental, he remembered his childhood dream. As a young boy, he wished to settle among stars, to never be scared and never be lonely.

Mitaka saluted and Hux snapped back to attention. “Dismissed,” he said sharply and the Lieutenant hurried back to his post with a DataPad tucked under his armpit. Hux internally sighed and his lips pressed into a thin line. He blinked away tiredness and tried to focus on the mission. He was only dimly aware of what Mitaka told him and it only managed to worsen the worrying feeling that started to gather in the pit of his stomach.

He could see no ships in the distance. Usually, it was a good sign, meaning that they were either welcomed or approached their enemies unnoticed. But the longer he stared at the blue planet, the deeper was the feeling of fear. He was afraid almost constantly these days. Hux wondered if he wasn't growing paranoid like his late father but even a simple thought of him being compared to Brendol was waking up terror he didn't try to supress.

   “Any news?” he turned to Peavey who resumed his place at Hux's side and the _Finalizer_ ' _s_ Captain shook his head. The old Imperial veteran nervously shifted. He seemed uncomfortable with the question Hux asked and despite not liking him, the General couldn't blame him. Their heads were at stake with Ren as their new Supreme Leader and none of those men working under Hux was taking this knowledge easy.

   “No, sir,” Peavey said. “We cannot confirm anything right now.”

   “When will you be able to?” Hux growled, finally feeling that something inside of him snapped. Without thinking he reached up and touched the collar of his jacket and turned on his heel. He strode across the Bridge, feeling the burn of his crew's eyes on his back. He was already regretting he let his emotions get better of him and snapped in presence of so many people. He was only dimly aware that Peavey followed him like a kicked dog but he didn't acknowledge his presence until it was necessary.

   “General,” the Captain said and Hux shot him a short look. He let him speak. “If I may be honest, this mission was meant to fail. The information we had led us here but there is nothing. If the Resistance found support on this place, then it was a long time ago. They are one step ahead of us.”

   “Do you think I don't know that?” Hux honestly asked. The collar of his jacket was now painfully digging into the bruises that formed on his neck after Ren's forceful attack. “I need results.” _Or the Supreme Leader will have my head,_ he added inside of his head.

   “Yes, sir.” Hux froze when he saw that Peavey's eyes skipped from the General at some point and now he was staring behind Hux's back. He turned around just in time to see that the doors closed behind Ren's figure as he stepped on the Bridge. For the first time since Hux could remember, Ren wasn't wearing robes that usually managed to cover up his body. It wasn't exactly a uniform but it suited him. His dark eyes were burning and Hux gulped before he waved his hand at Peavey and dismissed him. It was a mercy to the other man and Hux couldn't help but felt a twinge of jealousy once the Captain returned back to his post and Hux was left to deal with Ren on his own.

   “Supreme Leader,” he bowed his head and stared somewhere behind Ren's back though he knew that the dark-haired man was observing his face. “I am afraid we don't have anything new to offer.”

   “I thought you had the Resistance on the end of the string,” Ren dared to say and Hux felt as his cheeks colored red. He said Snoke the same thing but under completely different circumstances. His eyes immediately traveled at Ren's face and he felt as anger boiled inside of his veins once he saw the smirk that lifted the corners of Ren's lips.

   “I am afraid we lost that advantage, sir,” he gulped down his pride like he did a few days ago when he called Ren the Supreme Leader.

   “We lost more than that.” Hux wasn't a fool and he immediately understood the threat hiding in Ren's tone. His body shuttered and he felt as shivers ran down his spine. _He was right about one thing, the Resistance will soon find their end and that only meant that Hu_ x' _s own end was coming soon too._ He warily watched the Supreme Leader. “You still didn't give me the full report regarding the damage of our fleet.”

   “We won't be able repair the _Supremacy,_ sir.”

Ren narrowed his eyes immediately. He started to walk towards Hux's office which could only mean that whatever he had on his mind was something he planned to tell Hux without any audience. “General?” he walked through the door first and it closed immediately after Hux followed him in. He turned around to face him. “I came to an understand that the man who was able to construct something such as _Starkiller base_ will be able to take care of much simpler matters just as one damaged ship.”

   “It is different now, sir,” Hux tried to defend himself. “I am not a magician and I am unable to get any more funds to support both our army and the damage of our fleet. We lost a dozen men during the attack and even more of our weapons. I need more resources and in all honesty, sir, _Supremacy_ wasn't the most important ship in our fleet. The _Finalizer_ can be just as suitable for your needs.”

Ren laughed. “We should have enough finances to manage to both things at the same time.”

   “We are in the middle of the war, sir. If I used all our finances on the repair of a ship we don't need, I would risk that when the moment comes, we wouldn't be able to feed our entire army or to treat our wounded.”

   “The wounded are just one step away from grave,” Ren said dismissively and Hux gritted his teeth until they started to hurt.

  “The war is not just about pointless shooting, sir,” he said hopelessly. “As a Leader, you have to tell your men, go and die for me but they won't be fighting for a Leader to whom their lives don't matter.” Ren stepped closer and Hux's breath hitched. His heart skipped a beat.

   “You don't give a fuck about them,” Ren said.

Hux slapped him hard. His hand collided with Ren's cheek and Hux stiffened. His entire body froze in fear and he could imagine how it will feel like to have those invisible hands to squeeze his throat again. Ren touched his cheek and Hux found himself cringing when he noticed blood on the tips of Ren's fingertips. He managed to break his skin. The silence stretched over them. When Ren's eyes fixed on Hux's face, the General closed his own and prayed for his death to be quick.

   “I am sorry.” Hux opened his mouth and his eyes snapped open. He couldn't bring himself to say any word in shock. Ren sounded genuine when he spoke out those words but Hux wasn't going to believe him that quickly. He attempted to step back but Ren's hand shot up and he grabbed Hux's forearm and kept him pinned in place. “Hux,” he breathed out and used his free hand to unbutton Hux's jacket. He revealed the bruises now covering Hux's neck and the General could see as he frowned in concern. “I am not going to hurt you again.”

An alarm started to ring inside of Hux's head. A silent voice kept telling him that Ren was lying. He didn't move when Ren cupped his cheek and his hand slid down to touch the bruises. Hux shuttered once he felt the coldness of the leather gloves upon his skin. He hissed when Ren pressed his fingers against his pulse and forgot how to breathe properly. The hand holding his forearm retreated and instead, he was tugged closer until he bumped into Ren's chest.

   “You don't trust me,” Ren observed.

Hux bitterly laughed. “That happens when you choke someone and then throw him against a wall.” Ren's hand soothingly touched his back as if he was trying to ease Hux's pain. His touch was gentle and not entirely unwelcome. Hux leaned into it despite himself and he could hear Ren's low chuckle.

   “I missed that fire in you,” Ren admitted silently. “I was afraid I wiped it out.” He leaned closer and pressed a kiss against Hux's bared throat. Hux's breathed hitched and he quietly moaned when Ren continued trailing kisses under his jaw. “I apologize for what I did, Hux. I lost control and it won't happen again.”

   Hux hummed under his breath, still not quite believing him. Ren parted Hux's legs with his knee and his hands tangled in Hux's red hair. He tugged them and Hux's body arched. He moaned louder and his mouth opened wide. He blinked and looked at Ren's face when they parted.

  “I need you by my side,” Ren whispered and kissed Hux on the corner of his mouth. “You are my equal, my _Grand Marshall._ ” Hux felt like he just lost the ground from under his feet. In a swift movement, he pulled away from Ren and revealed a mononuclear dagger hidden in his sleeve. He raised it up in the air in front of himself like a shield to protect him from Ren.

   “Do I look like a fool to you?” he snarled and something inside of him snapped. He didn't raise his voice but the anger he felt was close to becoming fury. “I am not that Scavenger and I will not be used by you ever again.” He was already panting. “You promised her the same, didn't you? You wanted her to stay by your side?”

Ren seemed surprised for a moment. “That's different,” he said calmly and paused letting those words sink in. It almost looked like he believed it was enough to make Hux surrender to him.  “I am not fooling with you,” Ren added and Hux flinched.

   “Don't read my mind,” he commanded and held the dagger tighter.

Ren shrugged. “Your thoughts are very loud.” He stared at the blade of the dagger pointed at him and moved closer until its tip rested against his chest. “I meant to only use her power. But I have bigger plans for you.” He waved his hand and Hux felt as the Force wrapped around his body like a water. The dagger fell on the floor and his hands became immobile. He started kicking his legs as he was raised up into the air and the struggling continued even after Ren approached him.

   “I hate you!” he loudly yelled and his face turned red from anger. “YOU SON OF A BITCH!” He was aware that his crew had to hear them but he didn't care at that moment. He tried to kick Ren when he came closer and turned his head to the side when Ren touched his cheek. He saw the expression that crossed Ren's face and his lips twitched. He seemed unhappy with the results of the situation. “I WILL KILL YOU!” Hux started to sob. Tears rolled down his cheeks and soaked through the collar of his uniform. “I WILL KRIFFING KILL YOU!” He stopped struggling when Ren forcefully kissed him on his lips. He refused to part them and the kiss lasted only for a few seconds.

Ren kept looking at him with regret in his eyes once he pulled away. _“Armitage,”_ he soothingly whispered and used his fingers to touch Hux's temple. The General screamed and tried to move away but his bonds didn't let him.

   “Ren,” he whispered in a weak voice.

   “Sleep,” Ren commanded him swiftly. Before Hux lost his consciousness, he thought of the Starkiller's snow and Snoke's corpse lying on the ground, but he only saw Ren. The darkness in his eyes.

 


	2. and all hail the emperor.

Hux woke up with body pressed against own. He could feel the flesh and a hand resting atop of his stomach. He furrowed his eyebrows in confusion since he didn't remember who brought him here. Hux attempted to turn around and glance at the figure spooning him but the hand pressed harder against his stomach to keep him in place.

   “Don't,” he heard a growl before he had a chance to panic and immediately recognized that voice. He turned his head to the side and though his vision wasn't entirely clear, he could see the part of Ren's face. Supreme Leader's eyes were closed and lips parted. He seemed like he was peacefully sleeping but Hux knew it was just an illusion. Ren's eyes snapped open at the moment he realized that Hux was staring at him and his features hardened.

   “How did I get here?” Hux asked.

   “I brought you to my rooms.” Ren tapped the side of Hux's cheek while humming under his breath. He shifted. “You were very distressed earlier.”

The memories came back to him in an instant. He remembered anger he felt and immediately, Hux attempted to reach into his sleeve to find his dagger. He tensed when Ren's free hand wrapped around his wrist and squeezed it. “I took the dagger away,” Ren said. “I didn't think you will need it.”

   “That weapon was supposed to assure my safety, sir,” Hux said angrily and his head slumped on the pillow. Chills ran down his spine once he realized that he was completely helpless while facing Ren alone.

   “You are safe with me,” Ren whispered into his ear and pressed a chaste kiss against the side of Hux's neck. The redhead General almost jumped out of his skin when he felt as Ren's lips touched him.

   “For how long?” Hux barked out sharply. He immediately felt as Ren's grasp on him relaxed and his body was forcefully turned around so he was facing Ren. The Supreme Leader was chewing his bottom lip while staring at Hux wordlessly. He wasn't wearing any clothes except black briefs. His legs were tangled in the sheets.

Hux flinched when he felt a slight brush against his mind and Ren immediately retreated. “You are not a tool I am planning to dispose of, Hux.” Ren's fingers traveled to Hux's throat and he pressed his fingertips against the bruises forming on the skin there. “I am not Snoke.”

   “You are not him,” Hux hesitantly agreed. Then he looked right into the Supreme Leader's face. “You are worse.” A smirk tugged at the corners of his lips when he saw as Ren's eyes flashed red. Even the slightest idea of causing Ren any kind of distress was satisfying enough to make Hux feel victorious. It was his first victory after so many losses and he could taste its sweet taste on the tip of his tongue.

   “You are not in your right mind,” Ren told him sharply and pulled away. Only then Hux realized that he wasn't wearing his uniform and he quickly reached to cover up his half-naked body with the sheets. His fingers dug into his palms and he glared at Ren who rose up from the bed.

   “I am the only one who is in his right mind,” Hux hissed. “You are a lucky man that you are still alive. I wasn't joking Ren, you crossed a line this time. You will have to kill me to be sure that you're safe.”

   “I thought you've always wanted this.”

Hux bared his teeth. “No,” he showed Ren the bruises forming on the tender skin of his throat. “I've never wanted to play the part of someone else's toy. I thought there was mutual respect between the two of us if nothing else. I was wrong and you threw it to my face.”

   “I killed Snoke for both of us.”

   “That's a lie.” Hux whole body started to shake. “You killed him for that girl.” He felt betrayed through he didn't have any reason for that. Ren was capable of making his own decisions. “And you are here just for yourself, again. You are a selfish creature, Ren.”

   Supreme Leader narrowed his eyes. “I came to apologize to you,” he said. “I offered you the title you've always wanted to have and I even let you into my bed-“

   Hux blinked in disbelief. “So that's what you think this is? You doing me a favor by letting me warm your sheets in the night? You've stripped me of my respect in front of my own men and now you're taking the last of my pride. I am not one of your whores!”

   Ren frowned and Hux recognized the anger rising behind his eyes. “Still, being my whore is more than you deserve! I was too merciful on you, General and you threw it into my face. You want my respect but you don't deserve it. You lost, Hux, I want you to know that and always remember that. Your place is beneath mine!”

   Hux clenched his fingers and suddenly wished he could hold his mononuclear dagger to cut Ren's throat open. Tears burned in the corners of his eyes. He stood up from the bed slowly, still wrapped in the sheets and tried to find his clothes. Ren watched him with wary eyes. The silence stretched over them until Hux sighed and turned to face Supreme Leader with an emotionless expression.

   “I wish to leave, sir,” he said. “Is the permission granted?”

   Ren was quiet for longer than necessary. He crossed the room to stand directly in front of Hux and the General realized he had to look up to see into his face. He gritted his teeth in annoyance. “No,” he said less harshly than before and wrapped his fingers around Hux's forearms. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath before he continued to speak. “What can I do to prove to you that I need you?”

   Hux opened his mouth but no words came out. He was trying to find any trace of a lie in Ren's face but his eyes found only bare honesty. His body slightly relaxed into Ren's touch. “Why?” he finally asked. “You've never shown any interest in me and now you're promising me the world.”

   “Affection is a dangerous thing, General,” he admitted. “Snoke would never understand. If he knew, he would have taken you away from me.” He reached and brushed Hux's cheek. He frowned when he felt the wetness of tears and Hux flinched. He closed his eyes and felt as more tears rolled down. His face flushed in humiliation and he waited for Ren's taunting words but none came.

   The Supreme Leader was looking at him softly. “I wish to kiss you,” he mumbled and Hux opened his mouth without thinking, inviting Ren to press his lips against Hux's. The General tensed when Ren's tongue slipped inside of his mouth and felt as Ren's hand moved down, tracing his spine and then gripped his buttocks. He moaned in shock and felt as Ren smiled into their kiss.

   “You taste like smoke,” Ren said when they parted and licked his lips. Hux opened his eyes and a smirk tugged at the corners of his lips.

   “I like to smoke,” he admitted thought he knew that Ren was aware of that. He leaned into Ren's touch, still unsure if it was safe to trust the other man.

   “I won't hurt you,” Ren said with steel in his voice. “The world is ours for taking,” he reminded the General gently. “So let's take it. I will have every star, every planet and I will give them to you.” He brushed Hux's copper hair. “I can make you the Emperor.” Hux's breathing hitched.

   His pants suddenly felt uncomfortably tight. He shifted his legs to try to find a more comfortable position. He saw as Ren smirked and Hux scoffed at him. “I didn't know it will turn you on.” Ren reassumed his kissing and moved down to lick and bite Hux's jaw and throat. The General moaned louder now and immediately pressed his palm against his lips. Ren grabbed his hand and pinned it behind his back. “I want to hear you,” he said and it sounded like a command. Hux's knees buckled underneath him and the only thing keeping him up was Ren's grasp.

   Hux cringed when he saw the look that appeared on Ren's face. He opened his mouth to curse him but all the curses were lost when Ren bit the sensitive skin of his neck and Hux loudly gasped. He arched his back, trying to press closer against Ren's body until there was no space between the two of them. Ren licked the tender spot afterward and when he raised up his head, Hux saw blood smeared across his lips.

   “You bit me,” he said like a matter-of-fact statement, knowing his eyes were now wide-opened. He tried to reach up to check on the bite but Ren stopped him. Hux pressed his head against Ren's broad chest and he breathed in slowly. Ren smelled like most of the leaders did, after the war but there was something less bitter. Ren's fingers tangled in Hux's hair and the knight pressed a kiss there as if he already imagined the crown that Hux dream about.

   “Will you accept then?” Ren's voice cut through the silence that surrounded them. Hux's eyes snapped open and he realized that there was no longer time for daydreaming. He was already feeling tired and he wondered if that was what Ren aimed for when he seduced him. He pushed himself from Ren's chest and when the knight started to play with his hair, Hux realized how messy they had to be. He frowned little and it surprised him when he found Ren smiling softly down at him.

   “Why are you staring?” he croaked out.

   Ren lowered his head down and brought his lips close to Hux's ear. The General shivered despite himself. “Because you look beautiful.” He huffed but Ren didn't seem like he was joking. His eyes were serious despite the smile playing on his lips and Hux found himself wondering if he had ever a chance to see Ren like this before. Supreme Leader was now bare in front of him, giving him a choice to stay or leave.

  “I've never thought you'll give me a choice to decide,” Hux murmured. He's never had a choice, not really. The General was just like his troops, raised up for war and his use wasn't beyond that. Those at the bottom and those at the top were just the same tools, used by the man pulling the strings. And now Hux stared at that man with childlike wonder and felt again like the small boy his father killed those years ago.

   “You have the power in your hands now,” Ren said and raised up his hand. The lightsaber came flying to his hand and he put it into Hux's palms. “What will you do with it?”

   Hux blindly blinked. He wrapped his fingers around the hilt of the lightsaber and raised it up in the air. He activated it and watched as the red light illuminated Ren's face. He looked like a beast he really was, feral and always hungry. His eyes flashed and Hux found himself unable to speak.

   “Emperor,” Ren whispered and Hux felt as something deep within him moved. He took a step away from the knight before he spoke and the sheets covering up his body fell on the ground and pooled around his legs. Hux felt as Ren's eyes traveled down, drinking him in. He looked like a starving man who just found the food.

   “Kneel,” Hux whispered and Ren complied. He fell on his knees and raised his head up so he could watch Hux's every move. His lips were twitching. “Swear to me.”

   Ren reached for Hux's hand. “The Knights of Ren are yours,” he said in a lowering voice. My lightsaber is yours. My life is yours. My heart is yours.” He pressed a kiss against Hux chuckles and his eyes refused to leave Hux's face. Hux felt as his cheeks flushed again. He felt powerful, with the knight kneeling in front him and the lightsaber alive in his grasp.

   “You are mine,” Hux said. Ren stood up and smiled. “As I am yours.” In the bright light of the lightsaber's blade, Hux's own eyes turned bright just like the day when he gave the command and the Starkiller was brought to life for the first time.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am not sure if I should continue to write more chapters to this story or leave it be like this... hm, one way or another, thank you so so much for reading :)


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